While I'm Waiting

I remember this song from the amazing Fireproof movie, but recently the lyrics have come to mean something very different. Early this year, this song touched Vanessa in her journaling, so she wrote out the lyrics to and wrote "I don't know what it is, but I feel like God has me waiting for something." Now that we know that we are waiting for our beautiful Congolese child to come home, we have become students of waiting, and the Lord has begun to teach both of us what it means to "serve you while I'm waiting... worship while I'm waiting."

Many people imagine God as one who can be bartered with, as if He needs us to do things for him. How many times in my own heart have I said, "God, if you just do this for me, I will..." Our God is worthy to be worshiped and served, not because of what He has done or is going to do, but because of his very nature.

While we continue to wait, we will not stumble, but will press on in the ministries that God has called us to. I praise God for this time of waiting and what is has taught me about reliance on Him, and I pray that all of us would have our joy complete through times of waiting.

"Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield." - Psalm 33:20


Lyrics to While I'm Waiting by John Waller:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Number 14

Everyone always wants to know where we are on 'the list', so we have decided to update the blog once a month with our position. Right now, we are number 14 on the infant waiting list for a referral from our agency. Thanks to Indianapolis Fire Department Station 14 for the picture!

Frequently Asked Questions - Part 1

As we have begun to share with others our journey of adoption, we notice there are usually lots of questions after the announcement. We love it because we love talking about adoption! As many of you haven’t had the chance to ask all your questions, or maybe didn’t feel brave enough to ask some of them, we decided to do a Q&A of frequently asked questions. After listing out all the questions, I decided this would be a two part entry – so here is part one.

What age / boy or girl? We have requested either a boy or girl 0 – 12 months

How long will it take? We have no idea! We are guessing anywhere between 6 – 12 months, but it could be shorter or longer. Once we accept our “referral”, which is when you get a picture and background information on your child, it will take approximately 2-3 months before we can pick them up. Waiting is one of the most difficult parts; however we are trying to learn to enjoy the excitement of the anticipation that comes in this season.

Will you have biological children? My first and fast response to this question is, “we are taking it one child at a time.” Many times this question is really asking – can you have biological children? For us, the answer is, we don’t know. We don’t know one way or another. For many, adoption occurs after you have had biological children or occurs when you cannot have biological children. Because this is our first child, many assume we cannot have biological children. We have decided to start our family through adoption. We are blessed that we married so young, so the race against the biological clock isn’t as much of an issue for us, as it is for so many and is a reason many wait till later in life to adopt. Some may see adoption as a backup plan if you cannot have biological children and may not understand our choice to adopt. We also understand God has not called everyone to adopt. I know there are unique, special and precious aspects of the road to parenthood, whether through pregnancy or adoption. Right now, God has called us on the journey of adoption and feel so blessed. Every child is a gift from God.

Why Congo? When we began researching adoption, we first just looked to see what countries were available to us. Different countries have different restrictions depending on your age, how long you have been married and many other factors. The only real explanation for why we chose Congo would be that God lead us to it. Many, even in the adoption community, can get into battles or strong opinions of international vs. domestic and if international, which countries are “best” or more “noble.” All orphans need loving homes and parents – regardless of what country they are born in. International adoption has always been on our heart, probably because we have spent time with orphans in Haiti. I don’t believe one is better than the other, all are needed. Therefore the decision has to be based on many different circumstances and ultimately where you feel led.

Are you concerned with special needs, illness, under development or attachment issues? Of course this is a concern for any parent, and there is no guarantee that a biological child would be free from any illness or developmental needs. With that said, children are tested and screened for illnesses (including HIV) as best as possible, and we will have to pray over both the known and unknown issues that may come up. Today, the vast majority (over 75%) of children born to HIV positive mothers do not have the disease.

We have not requested a special needs child as we will be first-time parents. Typically children who grow up in community care average about one month underdeveloped for every three months spent in an orphanage. We understand there will be added challenges for any child that comes from an orphanage, but we know we have an amazing support system through our family, friends and church.

What color will the baby room be? We are going gender neutral with green and brown (I know, sounds more like boy colors, but don’t worry we’ll have plenty of frill and flowers if it’s a girl). We are just too anxious to start setting it up to wait till the referral – so this summer we’ll post pictures.

In part two, we will answer questions above travel, baby names, being a multi-racial family and more.

The Spirit of Adoption

Our God is so amazing! Last night, we had the wonderful opportunity to have dessert with an amazing family who has walked this journey before us. Mutual friends put us in contact with Travis and Kim, an amazing couple who has three biological children, and last year they adopted their adorable two year old, Taj, from Ethiopia.

We had a wonderful evening sharing stories and talking about adoption experiences, and it got me thinking about how God is creating a culture of adoption in our community. Twenty or thirty years ago, adoption was a taboo subject, and parents would hide the fact that their child was adopted for fear that they wouldn't "fit in". Today, God has opened the heart of the church towards accepting the abandoned as our own and celebrating our similarities as those creating in the image of Christ.

We have been blessed by those who are traveling the journey of adoption and have walked a few steps before us. We pray that God continues to transform His church by placing the spirit of adoption in the hearts of His people.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

Homestudy Interviews Complete!

Anyone who has ever adopted or known someone who has understands what it is to dread the homestudy. For those who don't, the homestudy is essentially an endless process of signing documents and collecting paperwork about every detail of your life to be handed over to a social worker. This all concludes with a series of interviews and a home inspection, then they issue a report with a pass/fail for becoming an adoptive parent. I certainly understand the spirit of the homestudy - in fact, some argue they should create something like this for biological parents, but I don't think that would hold up in court. They place a big emphasis on parents being ready before the child comes home, it would be nice to see them also offer more help for parents after they are actually parenting.

In any case, yesterday we had the joy of inviting two social workers into our home for the interviews and home inspection. Ironically, I thought things went much more smoothly than I expected, even though I was the one stressing about the inspection and Vanessa was asked some of the more difficult and thought provoking questions about parenting styles and our relationship. In the end, I think we will receive pretty positive remarks. The nice thing about international adoption is that the social workers come from a private non-profit organization who's goal is to help families adopt as opposed to the county bureaucrats who guard the foster care system.

Another hurdle down. We should receive the final results of our homestudy report by the end of the week. Two weeks ago, we sent in documentation to the Department of Homeland Security to pre-approve visa status for our child. Now we are just waiting for their approval, which can take up to three months, and then we wait for a child referral. Continue to pray for God's mercy during this time of waiting.