Much Has Been Given

This was a post I had originally planned a week ago, but alas, my master’s thesis got in the way. Thanks for your patience; hopefully I can blog more frequently in the coming months now that it is complete.

Freedom isn’t free. Elections in America are something that we take for granted, a routine, sometimes even almost annoying, cycle that comes up every few years. We spend months (or years) talking about the candidates, debating the issues, raising funds, and eventually casting ballots for our candidates. Sometimes they win, sometimes they lose, but invariably, life continues until the next election cycle.

In many other developing nations around the world, this process is nothing like it is in the US. In many places it is tumultuous as best and deadly at worst, and nothing exemplifies this more than the recent elections in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Only the second elections in the country’s history, on November 28^th, this country undertook the task of polling its 70 million citizens for presidential and house seats. Over 18,500 people were on the ballot, and distributing materials across a country the size of Western Europe with no roads is a mammoth task.

Leading up to election, violence spread in many areas, usually from mobs rallying to support their candidate and clashes between parties. Human Rights Watch estimates that 18 people died directly from violence at polling stations on election day. Following the election, all of the ballots were shipped to the capital in Kinshasa, where millions of paper ballots were spread in warehouses and counted. It took over a week, but it was announced, not surprisingly, that the incumbent, Joseph Kabila, had won the presidency. Immediately the other candidates claimed that the results were fraudulent, and several even declared themselves to be president.

So far, the situation has yet to erupt into widespread violence, as it did following the 2006 elections were the opposition leader marched his army into the capital, but things certainly been anything but smooth.

I write all of this to say that we are certainly blessed to live in a place where freedom and peace go hand-in-hand. But this also means that we have an obligation. An obligation as a nation to stand up for the oppressed, the silenced and the forgotten. An obligation as individuals to stand up for our brothers and sisters around the world. An obligation as Christians to pray for and serve the least and lost.

Christ said in Luke 12:48 “Everyone to whom much was given, of him much will be required, and from him to whom they entrusted much, they will demand the more.” As we are in this Christmas season, I challenge you to take a long, hard look at the things that you have been given: family, friends, home, job, car, health, church. Now ask yourself “If I have been given this much, what has Christ demanded I do with it?” This Christmas, let’s do more than just give iPads and Xboxs to each other, but let’s truly do what Christ has called us to do, which is “to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” (James 1:27)

Number Three!

After several months at number five, we are very excited to say that we have moved up to NUMBER THREE! We are two numbers closer to seeing our child's face and starting the second half of this adoption journey.

Also look for another post tomorrow on the recent elections in Congo.

Grateful

I decided to study and learn more about gratitude and thankfulness this month since I was beginning to feel down. In the process, I thought it fitting to make a list of what I am grateful for. I thought about setting a goal of how long I wanted the list to be, but since I’m so goal oriented, for me it would become like a game of scategories, writing every item that pops to the top of my head. I didn’t want to just list items for the sake of listing them, I really wanted to meditate on gratitude and think through what I was writing. I struggled with what it meant to “give thanks always and for everything” (Ephesians 5:20). As I made breakfast this morning, I pondered, am I thankful for Peanut Butter? I use it every morning to spread on my toast, I love the taste, but am I truly “thankful” for it? Could I live without it? Would my life really be any different if peanut butter wasn’t in my life? Probably not. But I am thankful for access to healthy and nutritious food, to have the knowledge to know what a balanced diet is and to have the means and opportunity to nourish my body with food. So while peanut butter didn’t make my list of being thankful, it reminded me of the many blessings I have and to give thanks to my heavenly Father for providing for me. How often do I focus on what I want rather than on all that I have? I don’t think Paul meant I had to be thankful FOR everything, but that no matter the situation, I have reasons to be thankful and to give praise to God.

We are still waiting for a referral and haven’t moved on the list in over a month (still number 5). After the referral it will be more waiting, possibly up to a year. The waiting is longer than we initially thought and hoped, and I’ve finally reached a place where I can be thankful in the waiting because of all that I’m learning. I’ve been challenged to trust God in ways I’ve never had to. I’m reading a book called One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp, she reminds me that “It’s only when you live the prayer of thanksgiving that you live the power of trusting God.” I’ve witnesses these words in action in my own life – as I’ve focuses on gratitude, my trust in the God of the universe has multiplied. A dear friend reminded me to never despise anything that drives you to your knees. It’s so easy to get discouraged, to whine, to feel entitled, and to sink further into the dark hole of discontentment. As I give thanks for anything and everything, it brings me step by step closer to the light and into the freedom of breathing the fresh air of gratitude and trust.

Thank you for……..
1. Saving Grace
2. A husband who loves the Lord and me
3. Crisp morning air that takes your breath away
4. A creative creator
8. A sister who is a best friend
23. A house to call a home
25. Friends that point me to scripture
38. A God who supplies my every need
41. Broken hearts on bended knee

Five

When we started this journey of adoption, we were on the waitlist updards of 20 people. 7 months later, we are excited to say that we are now number 5! Things may not being moving as quickly as we had origionally hoped, but the Lord has perfect timing and gives us renewed strength in our waiting (Isaiah 40:31).

So what have we been doing? Well, if you know anything about Vanessa and I, it is that we are rarely idle for long. Vanessa is enjoying her work and is ramping up for her 4th busy season. I (Randy) was recently was promoted to Systems Engineer and is doing more network/server projects. I have also been in the middle of my master thesis, a consulting project for a Chinese healthcare IT company (If you've seen the bags under my eyes lately, it is because of too many midnight conference calls with China!). Both of us also continue to serve with youth, a joy and calling that has grown us and been such a blessing.

Some of you may have noticed that the thermometer on the left is completely at the top. No, it isn't an error, we really did surpass our goal thanks to some VERY generous givers. We want to thank everyone who donated to the adoption puzzle, your gift will make a huge impact on bringing together our family and we are eternally greatful! We have started to put it together and will post pictures when it is complete.

I have had some people ask about still being able to give. We are out of puzzle pieces, but we will be doing another fundraiser after we receive a referral for travel expenses. Also, if you know anyone with a bunch of Delta miles that they will never use, plant the seed of gifting those to help bring our child home (Delta's European partners are the primary carriers to DR Congo). Most of all, please continue to pray for us and our family.

"For in Christ Jesus you are all sons of God, through faith." - Galations 3:26

Numero Seis

Sorry we haven’t posted in a while, it’s partially due to the fact I just wasn’t sure what to write. I’ve limited myself to asking for new waitlist numbers to once a month for the sanity of both me and our agency, as I would probably be tempted to ask for numbers daily. About a week ago we hit the one month mark, asked for new numbers, and found out we didn’t move at all. I was deflated. We had moved 7 spots in 2 months, and then none the 3rdmonth. I know the numbers don’t really mean anything – you can’t correlate them to something like weeks or months, it’s just a number. But somehow that number gives me the perception that something is happening, that we are getting closer, that this adoption will actually happen.

Thursday was the 6 month mark since we applied, and looking back the 6 months have gone by quickly. However, we have reached a point where it doesn’t quite feel real. The initial excitement of telling everyone has worn off, people ask how the process is going and we have no news, there is no more paperwork or anything for us to physically be doing, we are just waiting. Part of me wants to guard my heart, not get too excited in case something happens, but then I realize I’m missing out on so much joy. So once I again I let myself get excited; to look at cribs and strollers, to dream about rocking my baby to sleep and to plan for the future as a family of 3. I know my feelings and emotions are not unique, and when I read other adoption blogs I find that are actually quite common. One of the blogs posted this verse, which is my new theme for this journey: Romans 12:12 “Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer.”

Yesterday we e-mailed our agency with a different question, and of course snuck in the “where are we on the list?” The good news – we moved and are now number 6! So we continue to choose to be joyful in hope while we patiently wait and pray. Thank you for your continued prayer and support!

Preparing with Patience

It has begun! I started painting a tree on the baby room wall. Some might think this task is a little over ambitious, especially for an accountant non-artistic type. My sister got all of the creative ability in the family, and is actually an amazing artist, but she consumed all the artsy DNA before I was born and left none for me. I’m also one of those people who think everything SOUNDS easy, I think big and just go for it. Sometimes I’m successful (I’ve built a volcano for VBS) and other times it falls flat (I tried helping Randy carry a refrigerator up 2 flights of stairs, thankfully a neighbor stepped in after the first flight, the refrigerator is in our kitchen, with only a few scratches). I think this project is one of the easier ones I’ve undertaken, especially with my “expertise” at mural painting. The company I work for has a yearly community service day and the past 2 years I’ve helped paint murals at elementary schools. It’s really just paint by numbers, but I learned proper brush stroke technique and how to paint the lines with a nice crisp edge, kinda. I also figured we could just paint over it if it looks terrible, but thankfully I’m happy with the progress so far. I’ll post pictures when I’m done, but it might be awhile as it is taking much longer than I anticipated.

Vanessa with two friends from work

and their mural in the background

 



As I begun painting I realized how relaxing and enjoyable it was to do something pretty mindless. With each brush stroke I started praying over the room and for our little baby who might be in this world or will be soon. I prayed for their safety, God’s protection and that they would join our family soon. I also prayed for Randy and I as parents – that we would honor God in our parenting and raise our children to love him above all else. That we would parent out of faith and not fear. Preparing the baby room makes parenting feel that much closer, which is both exiting and scary. Parents impact their children, both positive and negative. Little feet will be following us wherever we go, repeating the things we say, mimicking our actions. Our children will watch and learn from our love for one another, how we treat strangers and our response in hardship. It makes me realize all the more the importance of pursuing to reflect Christ daily. I know I will fail, I often do, but thankfully we have a savior that is bigger than my failure, mightier than my flaws and who’s power is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). And because of that, I pray.

Matthew 6:9-13, “Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name, your kingdom come, your will be done on earth as it is in heaven. Give us today our daily bread. Forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil” Amen.

Number 7!

The Lord has been amazing to us this month! We have been blessed through financial support, prayers and tons of encouragement. We have moved up to number seven on the infant waiting list with our agency! That's five spots in one month, so we just keep praying for the right child in God's timing. Please continue to pray for us, and if you haven't had a chance, we invite you to join in completed a beautiful adoption puzzle. Click the "Support our Adoption" link on the left for more info. Thank you and many blessings!

All In!

Our God is an amazing God. There is no way around it, He simply is. Last week, we had the honor of accompanying 55 high school students up the mountain to Hume Lake Christian Camp, near King’s Canyon on the Sequoia National Park. Every year, I look forward to my “vacation” at Hume, knowing that I will get to see God move in the lives of young people. This year was no exception.

The theme for camp this year was “All In” and the teaching was on the story of young David during his time of flight from Saul before being crowned king. I could write all day about what an amazing job the Hume staff does in presenting the gospel in a compelling, relevant and accurate way, but the true hero is that of our God because it is by His grace that dozens of kids from our group made decisions or rededications to be “All In” for Christ.

I liken my week at Hume to a much-needed shower after several weeks of camping (maybe because we all could have used them at camp). Last year, we had such an amazing summer with Haiti and camp, but during the year, we get covered in the filth of life, off track and in the weeds, but spending a week devoted to worshiping God, fellowshipping with believers, reading His word and pouring all of me into the lives of students, I return to the world refreshed and made new.

Unfortunately all good things must end, and so must the mountaintop experience. Now begins the difficult journey of remaining plugged in to God’s will. Pastor Shane Moss shared that we discover God on the mountain, but we experience real growth in the valley. We are so blessed and encouraged by what the Lord did at Hume, pumped for the student ministry that He has placed us in, and refueled to disciple those to whom we have been entrusted. Thank you Lord, I am All In!

Frequently Asked Questions: Part II

Here is part two of our answers to frequently asked questions.

How do you feel about being a trans-racial family? We feel both excited and nervous. It has been amazing the past few months because our church has really begun to become a multi-racial church with people of all cultures and background. We love it, and it is truly a picture of what heaven will be like with “…every nation, tribe, people and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb.” (Revelations 20:6).

We are also nervous for the unknown, as I’m sure every first time parent is. We know we will have unique challenges being a trans-racial family (I have no idea how to style African hair J) but we also know we don’t have to do any of this alone and our surrounded by an amazing community of friends and family that will love and support us along the way.

Do you pick your Child? Some people ask if we will get something like a catalog of children and “pick” which one we want. The way it works with our agency is that once we get to the top of the waiting list we will get a “referral”. A referral provides a picture and whatever background information is available about the child. You have the option to accept or deny that referral, and the child will move to the next in line.

Will you travel to get the child? This question is either phrased as “do you have to travel” or “do you get to travel” to pick up your child. The answer is yes to both. The Congo government requires one parent to travel to the country to finalize the adoption. However, as we see it as an amazing opportunity to experience the culture, sights, and sounds of the country our child was born, we will both be traveling to the country. We also both love to travel and experience the way others live.

Will you get to name your child or will you keep their African name? We have a list of favorite names and I think we have settled on our girl and boy name. You can ask us if you are dying to know, but won’t post it here until it is official. We have considered keeping the child’s African name as a middle name.

How much does it cost? Children are never bought, but the adoption process does have costs due to the legal paperwork involved. Initially, the cost was one of the biggest factors that deterred us from considering adoption at this point in our life. However, once we began to research the process we found out about tax credits and grants available to help. My encouragement if you have considered adoption but the cost was the main factor in delaying or dismissing adoption, don’t. Talk to me and I’d be happy to discuss more details.

How many children do you want? Right now we say 3 – 4 because we love the idea of a bigger family. Life doesn’t usually work out the way you plan. If you had asked me a year ago where I’d be today, it would look radically different, but we wouldn’t have it any other way. We’ll see where God leads our family, and we are excited for the journey.

Number 12

We are moving on up! We received word today that we are number 12 on the infant waiting list with our agency. Hard to tell how much longer the wait is, but if you figure we moved two spaces last month, that means another six months or so for a referral. Obviously this can change depending on how many kids come into the orphanage, what ages, genders, etc. Praying for only 4-6 months more for a referral!


On another note, I just want to bring to your attention the adoption fundraiser that we are doing to help raise funds to bring our child home. Please click the "Support Our Adoption" link on the left to make an eternal impact on a child's life. We are very thankful for those who have donated already!

While I'm Waiting

I remember this song from the amazing Fireproof movie, but recently the lyrics have come to mean something very different. Early this year, this song touched Vanessa in her journaling, so she wrote out the lyrics to and wrote "I don't know what it is, but I feel like God has me waiting for something." Now that we know that we are waiting for our beautiful Congolese child to come home, we have become students of waiting, and the Lord has begun to teach both of us what it means to "serve you while I'm waiting... worship while I'm waiting."

Many people imagine God as one who can be bartered with, as if He needs us to do things for him. How many times in my own heart have I said, "God, if you just do this for me, I will..." Our God is worthy to be worshiped and served, not because of what He has done or is going to do, but because of his very nature.

While we continue to wait, we will not stumble, but will press on in the ministries that God has called us to. I praise God for this time of waiting and what is has taught me about reliance on Him, and I pray that all of us would have our joy complete through times of waiting.

"Our soul waits for the Lord; he is our help and our shield." - Psalm 33:20


Lyrics to While I'm Waiting by John Waller:

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it is painful

But patiently, I will wait

I will move ahead, bold and confident

Taking every step in obedience

While I'm waiting

I will serve You

While I'm waiting

I will worship

While I'm waiting

I will not faint

I'll be running the race

Even while I wait

I'm waiting

I'm waiting on You, Lord

And I am peaceful

I'm waiting on You, Lord

Though it's not easy

But faithfully, I will wait

Yes, I will wait

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve You while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting

I will serve you while I'm waiting

I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Number 14

Everyone always wants to know where we are on 'the list', so we have decided to update the blog once a month with our position. Right now, we are number 14 on the infant waiting list for a referral from our agency. Thanks to Indianapolis Fire Department Station 14 for the picture!

Frequently Asked Questions - Part 1

As we have begun to share with others our journey of adoption, we notice there are usually lots of questions after the announcement. We love it because we love talking about adoption! As many of you haven’t had the chance to ask all your questions, or maybe didn’t feel brave enough to ask some of them, we decided to do a Q&A of frequently asked questions. After listing out all the questions, I decided this would be a two part entry – so here is part one.

What age / boy or girl? We have requested either a boy or girl 0 – 12 months

How long will it take? We have no idea! We are guessing anywhere between 6 – 12 months, but it could be shorter or longer. Once we accept our “referral”, which is when you get a picture and background information on your child, it will take approximately 2-3 months before we can pick them up. Waiting is one of the most difficult parts; however we are trying to learn to enjoy the excitement of the anticipation that comes in this season.

Will you have biological children? My first and fast response to this question is, “we are taking it one child at a time.” Many times this question is really asking – can you have biological children? For us, the answer is, we don’t know. We don’t know one way or another. For many, adoption occurs after you have had biological children or occurs when you cannot have biological children. Because this is our first child, many assume we cannot have biological children. We have decided to start our family through adoption. We are blessed that we married so young, so the race against the biological clock isn’t as much of an issue for us, as it is for so many and is a reason many wait till later in life to adopt. Some may see adoption as a backup plan if you cannot have biological children and may not understand our choice to adopt. We also understand God has not called everyone to adopt. I know there are unique, special and precious aspects of the road to parenthood, whether through pregnancy or adoption. Right now, God has called us on the journey of adoption and feel so blessed. Every child is a gift from God.

Why Congo? When we began researching adoption, we first just looked to see what countries were available to us. Different countries have different restrictions depending on your age, how long you have been married and many other factors. The only real explanation for why we chose Congo would be that God lead us to it. Many, even in the adoption community, can get into battles or strong opinions of international vs. domestic and if international, which countries are “best” or more “noble.” All orphans need loving homes and parents – regardless of what country they are born in. International adoption has always been on our heart, probably because we have spent time with orphans in Haiti. I don’t believe one is better than the other, all are needed. Therefore the decision has to be based on many different circumstances and ultimately where you feel led.

Are you concerned with special needs, illness, under development or attachment issues? Of course this is a concern for any parent, and there is no guarantee that a biological child would be free from any illness or developmental needs. With that said, children are tested and screened for illnesses (including HIV) as best as possible, and we will have to pray over both the known and unknown issues that may come up. Today, the vast majority (over 75%) of children born to HIV positive mothers do not have the disease.

We have not requested a special needs child as we will be first-time parents. Typically children who grow up in community care average about one month underdeveloped for every three months spent in an orphanage. We understand there will be added challenges for any child that comes from an orphanage, but we know we have an amazing support system through our family, friends and church.

What color will the baby room be? We are going gender neutral with green and brown (I know, sounds more like boy colors, but don’t worry we’ll have plenty of frill and flowers if it’s a girl). We are just too anxious to start setting it up to wait till the referral – so this summer we’ll post pictures.

In part two, we will answer questions above travel, baby names, being a multi-racial family and more.

The Spirit of Adoption

Our God is so amazing! Last night, we had the wonderful opportunity to have dessert with an amazing family who has walked this journey before us. Mutual friends put us in contact with Travis and Kim, an amazing couple who has three biological children, and last year they adopted their adorable two year old, Taj, from Ethiopia.

We had a wonderful evening sharing stories and talking about adoption experiences, and it got me thinking about how God is creating a culture of adoption in our community. Twenty or thirty years ago, adoption was a taboo subject, and parents would hide the fact that their child was adopted for fear that they wouldn't "fit in". Today, God has opened the heart of the church towards accepting the abandoned as our own and celebrating our similarities as those creating in the image of Christ.

We have been blessed by those who are traveling the journey of adoption and have walked a few steps before us. We pray that God continues to transform His church by placing the spirit of adoption in the hearts of His people.

"Religion that God our Father accepts as pure and faultless is this: to look after orphans and widows in their distress and to keep oneself from being polluted by the world." - James 1:27

Homestudy Interviews Complete!

Anyone who has ever adopted or known someone who has understands what it is to dread the homestudy. For those who don't, the homestudy is essentially an endless process of signing documents and collecting paperwork about every detail of your life to be handed over to a social worker. This all concludes with a series of interviews and a home inspection, then they issue a report with a pass/fail for becoming an adoptive parent. I certainly understand the spirit of the homestudy - in fact, some argue they should create something like this for biological parents, but I don't think that would hold up in court. They place a big emphasis on parents being ready before the child comes home, it would be nice to see them also offer more help for parents after they are actually parenting.

In any case, yesterday we had the joy of inviting two social workers into our home for the interviews and home inspection. Ironically, I thought things went much more smoothly than I expected, even though I was the one stressing about the inspection and Vanessa was asked some of the more difficult and thought provoking questions about parenting styles and our relationship. In the end, I think we will receive pretty positive remarks. The nice thing about international adoption is that the social workers come from a private non-profit organization who's goal is to help families adopt as opposed to the county bureaucrats who guard the foster care system.

Another hurdle down. We should receive the final results of our homestudy report by the end of the week. Two weeks ago, we sent in documentation to the Department of Homeland Security to pre-approve visa status for our child. Now we are just waiting for their approval, which can take up to three months, and then we wait for a child referral. Continue to pray for God's mercy during this time of waiting.

A Long Long Time Ago...

All great stories have beginnings which draw the reader in. From Dickens (It was the best of times, it was the worst of times…) to Shakespeare (Two households, both alike in dignity…) to Star Wars, each captures their audience with an invisible force which demands all attention. This story is different. There are no catchy beginnings, and the ending has yet to be written. In fact, most of it is yet to be written. But I guess we must start somewhere.

My name is Randy and this is the story of my family, or rather, the story of how my family is growing. I am blessed to be married to my best friend, Vanessa, and God has done many amazing things in our lives. We have been blessed to live in Southern California, to have good jobs, wonderful loving families, and an amazing church. We have been blessed to travel, have a home, to go to school, to work with students, and to serve others. 

But God has called us to do more than live blessed, comfortable lives. To quote Francis Chan, “God doesn’t call us to be comfortable. He calls us to trust Him so completely that we are unafraid to put ourselves in situations where we will be in trouble if He doesn’t come through.”

Last year, we were called to our first trip to Haiti to serve with an amazing orphanage called Mason de Lumier. God captured both of our hearts and began to make many changes in us, not the least of which was planting the seeds of adoption. We had always discussed the option of adopting internationally, but assumed that we would have biological children first and adopt “someday”. Thankfully God had other plans.

James 1:27 says “religion that is pure and undefiled before God, the Father, is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction, and to keep oneself unstained from the world.” We have decided to take this verse very literally and answer God’s calling to care for orphans.

Yesterday, Vanessa and I submitted our application for adoption from the Democratic Republic of Congo. After much prayer, speaking with family and friends, and through God’s intervention, we are excited to announce that we have begun the process of becoming parents to a beautiful Congolese baby girl or boy. 

In the coming weeks and months, we will be chronicling our story here as it unfolds. We will also share much more about our reasons for adopting and about the adoption process. In the meantime, we ask for your prayers as we begin this wonderful journey toward parenthood. To Christ be all the glory.

And so the story begins...